You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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