You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize