Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
