Where is the hickey?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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