he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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