why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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