I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
