have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
