if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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