ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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