If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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