She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
