"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
