There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
