i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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