sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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