They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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