And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
