So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
soo... how was my night?
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