I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she woke up with a sticky ear
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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