just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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