I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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