so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this just has baby written all over it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
