I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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