Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
