so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
