It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
