Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
