u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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