So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so explain again why im purple
no
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
