Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
