No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
