Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
