I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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