I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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