Farmville is her only friend.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize