That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
