She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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