I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lo siento on account of my penis...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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