That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
