the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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