i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
