Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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