Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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