Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
