JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
