Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize