Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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