I'm really into asian looking animals
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize