fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
