Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
