sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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