SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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