She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
