I didn't shave. On purpose
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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