I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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