I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
