Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just had sex bonerless
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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