why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
